With the new year, new me resolutions coming in, I think it’s time to settle some scores.
Firstly: To all those people who keep asking me “Why aren’t you married yet?” Or “When are you going to get married?” Please stop! You’re just adding unnecessary pressure, I will get married when I feel comfortable enough to leave my home, my family and my freedom. When I find someone who loves me and cares for me the way I should be loved and cared for. When I find someone who doesn’t want me to leave my job or change my surname, when I find someone who doesn’t get angry with me for little things, someone who is understanding and who can get along well with my crazy family. Oh! And don’t worry aunty, you will definitely be invited.
Secondly: “You’re 25 and you’re still studying?” Yes! I haven’t got my degree as yet, yes I am still studying, and no I don’t think I’ll give up just because you think I’m too old to start achieving my dreams. It is unfortunate that I come from a home which is not as financially stable as yours, but I have worked hard enough over the past few years, saved up all my money just so that I can get a better education, and no I don’t blame my parents for anything, they did all they could to give me a better life, and they still continue to support me with whatever I do. Each person’s circumstance is different and it’s high time we respected and supported one another instead of insulting and demotivating each other.
Thirdly: Please stop telling me “your parents work so hard” or “you have to get a good job and give your parents a better life.” I know! I have seen my parents come home late at night, completely tired just so that they could pay for my school fees, so that they could buy me new stationery or a school uniform, I have cried nights asking God to give us a better life because it hurts to see your parents work so hard yet never ask for anything in return. I know you mean well when you tell me these things, I know you only want to motivate me to do better, but it only makes me feel worse, it makes me feel like I am not good enough or I have not done anything to make my parents proud. I would rather appreciate a “Good luck with your studies” speech.
And lastly: To all those who keep asking “Is there anything I can do to help?” please don’t ask this question if you are not willing to assist someone, if you see someone struggling and you know that they need assistance, then do the best you can to help them however you can, but if you can’t help them, then don’t ask. I’m not sure if this makes sense, but many people offer to help others, yet they never take active steps to assist them, they can see a student struggling to pay for his/her studies they still ask “is there anything I can do to help?” Of course the person will reply with a “no, its alright” not because of pride but because sometimes it is easy to sense when a person is asking this question out of pity or because they really want to help you, rather as a human being, you should try and give them books voluntarily, get people to donate money etc. But if you cannot help someone then please don’t ask “is there anything I can do to help?” Because people can sense when you really want to help them and when you don’t.
Here’s to new beginnings….
(P.S. sorry if this offended anyone, I am just sharing my opinions and well…personal feelings)